Beautiful Beliefs (3)

I believe that...

beauty magazines promote low self esteem.

OK, those are not really my words; I've borrowed them from Savage Garden's song, 'Affirmation', but that doesn't meant I don't believe them to be true. 

This morning, on the radio, I heard the news that a committee of MPs has proposed compulsory body image and self-esteem lessons in schools, in order to combat the poor self esteem and body image of youngsters. I find this proposal completely bizarre, for two reasons:

1. It does not really address the reasons why young people have poor self-esteem.

2. Encouraging self-esteem and a positive body image should not be confined to one lesson a week in school. It should be something that is integrated into their everyday life, naturally.

I am very lucky. I have a pretty balanced view of my body (could tone up a bit, perhaps cut down a little on the cakes... but otherwise, pretty good). Sometimes I look in the mirror and think 'Not as slim as you used to be...', but then, does that really matter? All is in proportion, and I am far from overweight, health-wise. 

Some of this balance, I am sure, is down to a loving and supportive family throughout my childhood, adolescence, and adulthood, and to a boyfriend who freely offers compliments on my shape - and on days when I've noted to myself that my bum is bigger than it used to be, this is a good boost. 

But I believe some of this balance is due to the fact that I do not aspire to be celebrity- / model-thin, but then I don't think I've ever really aspired to be a celebrity or a model.*   For me, success is not purely related to what I look like (and I'm grateful to my family and to my school for fostering this belief). Raising the aspirations of girls and young women beyond 'being like Victoria Beckham and Cheryl Cole' is a connected, but different, problem that also needs to be addressed in our celebrity-obsessed culture.  Celebrity women are often held to be the perfect shape. Most of them, to me, are alarmingly and unhealthily thin. 

When gossip magazines catch celebrities looking human - sweating, without make-up, with zits, or otherwise not camera-ready, they draw attention to such 'flaws' and, rather than saying 'Hurrah! These women are really like us', they say something that amounts to, 'Look at Celebrity X - she needs to work harder at her appearance'. This does not promote a healthy relationship with real bodies. It's a form of bullying at a distance.

More than this, though, as adults we know that celebrity, girlie and fashion magazines have images that are heavily doctored / airbrushed. Not even the models and celebrities can live up to the unrealistic expectations that such images raise, and it is this that we really need to explain to children and adolescents (and to some adults!). 

(* I think I once wanted a very slim waist because Victorian ladies used to have them, but then I realised they were artificially created through corsets too...)

We also, I think, need to be much more careful about the way in which the media presents the 'obesity crisis' in the country. Curvy does not have to mean fat. Healthy eating and exercise - yes; diet until you are unnaturally skinny - no. 

I remember seeing an episode of Supernanny that dealt with a pre-teen who thought she had to match up to magazine images to be pretty. Not true.  But this must be a belief that so many young people have because of celebrity culture - and I don't think this is only a problem for girls. Boys are increasingly under a similar sort of pressure.

The report from MPs notes the media's unrealistic body images as a cause of the problem, but does not seem to suggest a way to tackle it beyond 'get schools to do something'. That isn't enough.

Of course, building confidence through encouraging children to like who they are and what they look like is important, but this could - and should - be done consistently at home and at school through praise, encouragement and an absolute crack-down on bullying of any kind.  Encouragement towards, and praise for, academic, sporting or other achievements, along with education on eating healthily and taking balanced exercise, could go a long way towards combating poor body image and self-esteem problems in children / adolescents. But, tackling poor body image in young people cannot be done without addressing the causes of it, and the magazine industry and celebrity culture are some of these causes. 

A legally enforceble ban on airbrushing could, I think, be more effective than compulsory school lessons in self-esteem.



This post is connected to Amy Palko's Beautiful Beliefs writing circle.

Irresponsible TV.

Bullying does not make good TV.

This might seem like an obvious statement, but it was provoked by a programme I watched yesterday evening. I usually enjoy 8 out of 10 Cats; the panellists are witty and play off each other very well. There is sometimes a certain amount of good natured banter, but no real harm is meant. For last night's festive edition, the panellists were Sean Lock, Micky Flanagan, Jon Richardson, Greg Davies, Liza Tarbuck and Jedward. Very little of the show was funny. I was disappointed.

I don't like Jedward, for several reasons. I don't think they are particularly talented as singers, dancers or performers in general. (I also don't like that as twins they present themselves as one entity, even conflating their names, but that's a separate issue.). I also don't like the 'celebrity' culture they represent: they are, actually, famous for their lack of talent, promoted by the UK X factor show. They are young, and have been thrust into the spotlight with managers/agents who get their faces on anything and everything they can. X factor expoited them for viewing figures - not to listen in awe to their vocal brilliance, but to see what new crazy thing they would do - and they continue to develop their own particular 'brand' in this way. It might be good for their publicity, but I doubt it is good for the boys themselves. Last night's programme was a good example of this.

Most of the programme consisted of the other panellists (and the host, Jimmy Carr) joking amongst themselves about how terrible and how stupid Jedward are. There was a lot of name calling, and a lot of highlighting their 'faults'. And the boys just kept pushing through. They kept trying to join in in answering the questions, but each time they were made to look extremely foolish at best.

I don't think they did themselves any favours on this front. And I don't think that their managers / agents / parents are doing them any favours either in encouraging them to keep doing these things. There is a limit to how long they will be able to continue presenting themselves in the way that they do, and they will also struggle to create careers for themselves when the 'Jedward' bubble bursts - which it will, sooner or later.

But, the 'grown ups' on 8 out of 10 Cats (their term, not mine) did not come across any better in their dealings with the boys. The funniest moments were those of quick wit, mostly directed at other targets than Jedward. There is nothing quick witted about verbally bashing or humiliating an easy target. And the boys themselves, although they kept smiling through, looked at times like they were genuinely hurt by some of the comments. There was nothing funny about grown men (I'm excluding Liza Tarbuck, because she actually said very little, and would add that Jon Richardson behaved better than the others) bullying teenage boys.

Jedward were well out of their depth. They knew it. The host and other panellists knew it. And I knew it. And it made for very uncomfortable viewing. .

The TV programme that created 'Jedward' was irresponsible to do so. They are not well equipped for the world that either loves or loathes them, and whilst they are 'good sports', there is a limit to what they ought to be expected to take in the name of publicity.

Presenting this as a Christmas comedy programme gives out the wrong message. It suggests that bullying is witty, or funny. It isn't. If those sorts of comments were made in a different forum we would all agree it was bullying and wrong. But because it was a comedy show - and because Jedward are Jedward - such behaviour is allowed to pass by uncriticised. It shouldn't be.

Such blatant bullying on TV is not funny. It is cruel and it is irresponsible. And it should be far beneath the witty comedians who made two teenage boys their target as part of festive fun.