Strange amounts

Yesterday I went to two different shops, at different times, and bought a variety of different items.

On both trips, I spent exactly £3.39

How odd.

Flowers at the bridge

I was going to write a letter to my students here today - one of those polite letters verging on ranting that I'd never want them to read but would like to share with others who would understand. But... whilst I was walking my Little Dog I saw something that changed my post entirely: a young man, mid to late teens, with a small bunch of flowers in a deep purple cone.

Little Dog and I passed him as we walked towards the canal. He was walking along the street holding his bunch of flowers out slightly awkwardly in that way that anyone carrying a bunch of flowers and trying to go somewhere always holds them. They were upright, and held forwards and slightly to the side of his body, and there was an air of determination about him. Perhaps it was teenage awkwardness; perhaps something else. His flowers were clearly a token of something. It was a small bunch, and I wondered if they were for his mum, who might live in one of the houses along that street. But we were walking in opposite directions and I thought that was the last I would see of him. I would never know any more.

As Little Dog and I turned a corner at the canal path, I saw a figure half sitting on, half leaning against the canal tow-path wall, at the gateway by the bridge, with a small bunch of flowers in a deep purple wrapping cone. He looked at his watch; he took out his mobile phone. Reading a text message? Sending a text message?

I kept walking.

I hope she showed up.

Parties

Over the last few days, it's been quite noisy around my flat. On Wednesday, from about mid-afternoon until 11pm, and last night from tea-time until after I went to bed around 1am, there was loud music. On Thursday it was definitely from the flat upstairs; on Wednesday I wasn't sure where it was from, but it was pretty much the same music both times, so I guess it was coming out of their window and bouncing back off the nearby buildings.

That doesn't necessarily mean anything, you may say. A lot of people listen to similar music. But not these songs. Here's a list of what they were playing, amongst others:

Agadoo (at least 4 times)
YMCA
Time Warp (twice)
Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini
So Macho
Wake Me Up Before You Go Go

And there was definitely dancing to the Time Warp - I heard the thud on the floor upstairs when there was a 'jump to the left'.

Now, it's been a long time since I heard all these songs at all, let alone all together. It reminds me of birthday parties when I was younger. A time of kids' party DJs giving out prizes for the best dancer (I won one once - and upstairs were only missing the 'Superman' song to match the music combination for that party). I wondered if I should go upstairs with party bags.

But the thing about those parties was that there was always at least one or two responsible adults present. And the kids wouldn't have been allowed outside the building (yes, they were singing "So Macho" without the backing track outside my window). And everyone would have gone home and been in bed WAY before 2am.

It's all very quiet upstairs today. Ah, yes. When we aren't eating jelly and ice-cream, and, more importantly, drinking multi-coloured juice, the hangover is much more likely.

But I bought it...

I was reading this post over at Acephalous, and for some reason it reminded me of a conversation I had with a student during a tutorial. I had asked the students to do some small group work, and listened in on the conversation. I knew two students weren't discussing what they should have been, so I deliberately went to their group first. After an attempt to avoid my question, and then a further attempt to bluff by giving the example from the text given in the lecture, I asked for their own example:

Student: We couldn't find one.

Me: It's full of them!

Student: Well, there's that other one where [... ].

Me: That was also in the lecture. Do you have one of your own?

Student: No.

Me: Are you telling me that you haven't read the text?

Student (rolling his eyes and waving his book at me): Look! I bought the book.

Me: Buying it and reading it are not the same thing.

Student (confidently): Why would I buy it, and not read it?


This is a question which troubles many a university tutor, no doubt.

"Except that one. Or that one"

When I was standing at the checkout waiting to pay for my bread roll, milk and rainbow fruit pot, the queue was delayed by a woman who wanted to buy a gift voucher. I wasn't really in a hurry, so I didn't mind. She and her friend had already been looking at their watches, although not impatiently, whilst they waited their turn in the queue.

For the gift voucher, she had been to the stand where they were displayed and picked up a card to take to the till along with her shopping. She said to the Till Assistant, "I'd like a £10 gift voucher, please".

"Oh, we don't do those any more. You need to get the other kind," replied the assistant, who then helpfully added, "They're on the stand."

Shopper: "I got that one off the stand."

Assistant: "Yes, but that one shouldn't be on there. You need to get one of the others."

The lady walked over to the stand not far from the till, and picked up another card.

Assistant: "No, not that one. That's the same sort as this one. On the bottom."

Pause

Assistant: "Left. No, not that one. Left!"

Shopper: "These ones?"

Assitant: "Yes. You can have any on that stand you like".

I raised an eyebrow, looking at no one in particular. I seemed to be the only person to notice the incongruity of the customer-pleasing "any you like" and the previous refusal followed by lengthy directions.

The shopper looked to her friend waiting by the till and said "Which do you think?"

Other shopper: "Candles?"

Shopper: (decisively) "Candles".

As she picked up the card and returned to the till, the assistant left the till and went to the card stand. Collecting an envelope, she followed the shopper back to the till.

Assistant: "How much do you want?"

Shopper: "£10"

She added the ten pounds to the gift card, and then tried to show the Shopper where she should write on the card. With a wave of her hand, the Shopper, by now understandably out of patience, said "I know how to do that!"

A man appeared at the end of the till, and spoke to the shopper and her friend, "Have your watches broken?"

Shopper: (in a resigned tone) "No, we had some trouble with some of the shopping..."

They paid, and left. I moved down to stand in front of the Assistant.

Assistant: "Hello. I'm sorry to keep you waiting."

Me: "That's OK. I'm not in a hurry."

Assistant: "If I hadn't have gone to get it, they would never have found the right one."

I resisted the urge to say, "Yes, it's hard to find the right one, on a stand where you can have any card you like..."

Equal opportunities

Today I've been filling in job applications and writing cover letters. I've sent off the one for which the dealine is tomorrow, but I've still to finish writing the 'why you should give me this job' section of the other one. I was planning to do that tonight, but I can't make my brain do it. Clearly there's only so much blowing your own trumpet you can do in one day.

This is what it said on the top of the equal opportunities form:

"This university wishes to promote equal opportunities in all its employment practices. To do so, information is asked of candidates which will help us eliminate any practices which may be discriminatory"

But the questions asked me for my gender, nationality, ethnic origin, religion and sexuality (this is new - I don't remember ticking a box for that before). I don't see how this will help eliminate discriminatory practices. They say this information is kept separate from your application, so it can't be used positively by selection panels (not that I agree with positive discrimination - it's still discrimination, whichever way it works) but it could, if the personnel department were not entirely honest, be used negatively. What boxes I tick at this stage in my application process can't be of any help in suggesting to them ways in which they are or are not discriminatory. It doesn't say 'In your opinion, are any of our advertising or selection practices discriminatory? Discuss.' What they actually have, with my gender, nationality, ethnic origin, religion and sexuality, is a way to figure out statistics on applicants / employees. That is all they have. Why pretend it's anything else?

Multiple choice TV

I got a new TV this week. It has Freeview, so I can watch digital TV. So, here is your multiple choice question:

I decided to get digital TV because:

a) the digital switchover is coming, and I want to be prepared...

b) I have only had 4 channels for 10 years

c) it will allow me to watch the later night repeats of programmes I would usually watch during the day so I can get more work done before I turn on the TV

d) a particular programme that I really like which used to be on two channels, one terrestrial and one digital, is now only showing on the digital channel (meanies) so I had to get digital to watch it.

I'm afraid there is no prize for the right answer, but have fun guessing!

Right. Have to go. New TV to watch!