Whilst reading a collection of essays on Shakespeare's sonnets, I came across this quotation from William Reddy's The Navigation of Feeling: A Framework for the History of Emotions (CUP 2001) and had to share it:
'Suffering that results from goal conflicts is seen also in love relationships... Seeking out a loved one may realize a high-priority desire to be with the person, but it may also expose one to rejection - and thus to the knowledge that one has not embraced the loved one's own goals. This happens most obviously when the loved one makes clear the desire to avoid the lover... When and in what ways ought one to seek out the loved one in order to bring about a change of heart? When and in what ways ought one to accept the loved one's expressed aversion for oneself? Emotional suffering occurs when high-priority goals are in conflict in this way'. (p.123)
Unfortunately, the quotation ends here without answering these questions. Anyone tempted to seek out the book and see if it has any good suggestions?