Yesterday, I had the most terrifying experience of my academic life thus far.
No, it was not my VIVA. I think that even that may seem like a stroll in the park in comparison with yesterday's experience.
I was teaching Deconstruction with Derrida's "Differance".
The essay itself is very difficult to read. Although the ideas in it are interesting, and potentially mind-blowingly radical / useful for literary criticism, the argument meanders from philosopher to philosopher assuming a knowledge of much philosophy / theory that I just do not have (and nor do my students, although - and here's the thing - they expect me to know).
The lecture, immediately before the class, was very interesting on deconstruction, but ran out of time before we got to 'differance'. So, It's all on me when we get to the seminar. And, to be honest, I'm not sure I know.
The seminar went OK, although it could have gone much better. I think we all (students and tutor) left the room dejected. That moment where you see the light go on in a student's face never happened, and I feel I failed.
Determined for this not to happen again, today I take a board marker to the seminar. If I draw pictures, use arrows, do diagrams, it has to be clearer. We're dealing with some very abstract stuff, maybe if I pin it down in ink on a board it will make all clear (impossible by the implications of 'differance', and I take some comfort in this).
By magic, with pen in hand, I suddenly feel that I know what I'm talking about. And the seminar goes well. Lights go on. Students take over the discussion themselves, arguing, making points and counterpoints and debating the relevance of all this to English literary criticism, to English literature. I leave today's classes not only feeling not dejected, and not a failure, but confident (which 'is', Derrida would argue, automatically inclusive of 'not a failure').
What a difference a pen makes.
3 comments:
Is there a particular copy of Derrida that you might recommend over another, e.g., one with a competent forward and exposition?
(I saw where you had begun posting to Shannon's blog, thus my meandering over and reading).
Good blog, by the by.
I'm afraid Derrida is not really my field of expertise, Gary, so I'm not really on top of all the different editions. We use the Julie Rivkin and Michael Ryan edited anthology "Literary Theory: An Anthology" (2nd edition) for the course here, which has an introduction to the section on deconstruction (Formalism / Structuralism / etc.), and a brief introductory section at the start of each excerpt which can be quite useful. Other than that, I tend to use the more general guides and introductions to literary theory to get a handle on these things. I'm sorry I can't be more help.
Thank you for stopping by and for your nice comment!
What makes you think you're not being helpful?! Thank you. What you've added here is great, esp. going into what you think of the edition you're using. I am much obliged (and grateful you let me stick my nose in).
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