Wednesday 28 May 2008

Friends and Colleagues

I've just been to see the Sex and the City Movie. I wasn't sure what to expect - I had mixed feelings about the ending of the TV series because of my doubts about overly tidy happy endings and I wondered where they could possibly go with the relationships in the film that wouldn't have me tearing my realistic hair out. It turns out that I really enjoyed the film. I wasn't annoyed and I laughed and cried in all the appropriate places. I'm not going to say any more so I don't need to give a spoiler warning. All I will say is that I'd recommend it to those of you who enjoyed the TV series. I don't think you'll be disappointed.

I went to see it with two of my colleagues from work. They've worked together for at least 18months, have offices next door to each other and seem to be good friends. After the film they talked to each other about it. I threw the odd comment in to the discussion, but I didn't play any significant part in the conversation. We'd got out of the cinema screen, out of the cinema and half way across the street before either of them asked me what I thought. I'm sure they didn't deliberately exclude me. It's just hard to 'break in' to established friendship groups, and I'm sure I haven't been here long enough to be one of 'the girls'. And having come out of a film about a close network of 'girl-friends' and just returned from a trip to the Beautiful Scottish City that I Miss where I met and spent time at the cinema, having coffee, dancing and giggling til the early hours with old friends, it's tough to adjust to a place where you aren't one of the insiders. And I think I'll probably have to move elsewhere before I've had time to 'fit in' here.

It's not that Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda have something I don't (apart from boyfriends!) - I do have a group of very close friends. And actually several of them are men, so I have something that the Sex and the City girls don't seem to have. And I feel very lucky to have that. But I'd like to be close enough to those friends to go out for a drink in the evening, or a coffee in the afternoon, or a trip to the cinema where the immediate conversation after the film would include me.

It was lovely to be back in the Beautiful Scottish City that I Miss last weekend, with the friends that I miss even more. And seeing a film essentially, although not explicitly, about friendship with a group of people that I'm not yet quite a part of makes it harder to be away, but I know my friends are there for me, if not here, and I hope they know that I'm here, if not there, for them.

Anyone fancy a coffee...?

4 comments:

ThePhDLitChick said...

Sounds like Colleagues with whom you saw film weren't being particularly friendly. I'm sure it wasn't deliberate but doesn't sound like they were making much of an effort. What a pity. Mind you, if it's any consolation I became part of an existing group of girl friends when I moved here and even though they invited me to join them and make every effort to include me, there are odd times when I still feel a bit like an outsider as they have history together that I am not part of.

Anyway, it was great to catch up, albeit briefly, on Sunday for coffee....we'll wait and see where life takes us next and hopefully we'll see you again for a cuppa or dinner.

Autumn Song said...

I think it's more likely that I *feel* like an outsider than they were being unfriendly. They did invite me to go along, and they do include me in other things. I think it was the shift from being absolutely an insider at the weekend (and a confident insider at that) to being on the peripheries here that made it more difficult. Timing is everything...

Hope to see you soon.

Anonymous said...

I think three is also a really difficult number. I've started trying to avoid it, as a three-way conversation is difficult to hold, and walking down the street/hallway three abreast rarely works either.

I'm not sure that "what'd *you* think?" makes up a usual part of my post-movie discourse, though, to be honest, either saying or hearing. I have a natural expectation that people will leap in.

Autumn Song said...

Hello dance. Thanks for your comment. I think those are both fair points - three can be difficult to negotiate, and there is a general expectation that people will jump in with post-movie thoughts. I had tried a couple of times - I just couldn't really get a word in!