As Christmas and then the new year approaches (one of my students recently said that 2010 sounded scarily futuristic, and she may be right), this is the first of a few posts on seeing differently.
This one began as an email to a friend responding to his Facebook status update on feeling ‘behind’ in comparison to his colleagues.
I wanted to say something comforting in a comment his update but all I could think of was that I am now 2+ yrs post-thesis submission and don't think I will ever ‘catch up’ with some of my friends who have only just finished theirs, and already have a couple of articles, or book chapters and a variety of editing experience. But I realised that this sort of side glancing, side-swiping at ourselves – that others are making better, faster progress – is a normal part of academic life, and we have to find ways not to let it get us so far down that we only see 'failure' when we look at other people, rather than a track along which to progress.
The only way forward is to look forward in our own 'track' and not look sideways at other people's. So I’m adopting a new attitude: what's the next thing *I* can achieve? Finishing my marking is a thing off the 'to do' list (and counts in experience) but isn't a positive goal in my career progress track. So, now I’m aiming to finish an article I was nearly done with in the summer and then sending it to a journal. Voila, article 'under consideration' on my cv. Then on to writing my book proposal. I have written on so many job applications that I am ‘working on’ this, now it’s time to really do it. And not just work on it, but get it done and on its way to an academic press. And then I’m writing a conference paper which I can turn into an article. That will be new research, and I hope it will remind me how much I like my research topics and texts.
I know I can’t do all of this at once. And, yes, I do have to do my marking (about 130-140 essays) over the Christmas holidays. But since I managed to finish a big project this term, along with my heavy teaching commitments, I’m starting to think that I might be able to do it. But I won’t if I keep letting other people’s achievements hold me back. So from now on, in time for the New Year, I’m going to start seeing my work differently.
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Thursday, 17 December 2009
Sunday, 6 September 2009
Writing
I like writing.
I'm not talking about the process of academic writing, although I do like the sense of achievement when a chapter, paper, article or lecture is finished (this does not happen often enough - especially the personal research related ideas there!). I enjoyed writing my PhD thesis, although the final deadline and the re-writing processes immediately before that were not too much fun. What I'm talking about here is actually writing. By hand. With a pen.
On my way to my admin job the other day - I know this sounds strange - I felt an almost overwhelming need to write something. Anything. And I realised how much time I have spent at a computer, or shuffling papers, scribbling quick, untidy, notes or using mini post-its to mark pages relevant to lectures. It's been AGES since I have sat down and written by hand anything longer than a sentence or two, a 'happy birthday, love from me' in a card or a brief phone message scribble. And at work I had to go straight back into scribbling notes, emailing, filing etc.
Today I addressed an envelope in my very best joined up handwriting and I felt strangely pleased. I like how my careful handwriting looks (not wanting to boast too much, it is quite pretty) and it is much more satisfying than typing a letter or an envelope.
Marking undergraduate exam scripts earlier in the summer, I realised how few of them hand-write anything (either that, or the teaching of handwriting in schools has declined since I was taught 'joined up writing' and then allowed to use a fountain pen). I know no one does their best writing under the time-pressured conditions of exams, but still, some were barely legible.
I think the decline of handwriting is very sad. Not that I would do away with the wonders of word processing packages for my academic writing - cut, copy, paste makes drafting so much easier (even if sometimes starting to draft is actually easier for me with a pen and paper). But I am going to start doing more handwriting - letters to friends for example. I think - even in the increasingly computerised world where communication is almost instant through emails and social networking sites - people like to get mail. I know I do. And perhaps that is precisely because it is so rare for people to take time to actually write anything these high-tech, high-speed days.
I'm not talking about the process of academic writing, although I do like the sense of achievement when a chapter, paper, article or lecture is finished (this does not happen often enough - especially the personal research related ideas there!). I enjoyed writing my PhD thesis, although the final deadline and the re-writing processes immediately before that were not too much fun. What I'm talking about here is actually writing. By hand. With a pen.
On my way to my admin job the other day - I know this sounds strange - I felt an almost overwhelming need to write something. Anything. And I realised how much time I have spent at a computer, or shuffling papers, scribbling quick, untidy, notes or using mini post-its to mark pages relevant to lectures. It's been AGES since I have sat down and written by hand anything longer than a sentence or two, a 'happy birthday, love from me' in a card or a brief phone message scribble. And at work I had to go straight back into scribbling notes, emailing, filing etc.
Today I addressed an envelope in my very best joined up handwriting and I felt strangely pleased. I like how my careful handwriting looks (not wanting to boast too much, it is quite pretty) and it is much more satisfying than typing a letter or an envelope.
Marking undergraduate exam scripts earlier in the summer, I realised how few of them hand-write anything (either that, or the teaching of handwriting in schools has declined since I was taught 'joined up writing' and then allowed to use a fountain pen). I know no one does their best writing under the time-pressured conditions of exams, but still, some were barely legible.
I think the decline of handwriting is very sad. Not that I would do away with the wonders of word processing packages for my academic writing - cut, copy, paste makes drafting so much easier (even if sometimes starting to draft is actually easier for me with a pen and paper). But I am going to start doing more handwriting - letters to friends for example. I think - even in the increasingly computerised world where communication is almost instant through emails and social networking sites - people like to get mail. I know I do. And perhaps that is precisely because it is so rare for people to take time to actually write anything these high-tech, high-speed days.
Thursday, 16 July 2009
Is someone trying to tell me something?
Last night, I dreamed that the university to which I was attached (in the dream - it wasn't a university I recognise from my waking life, so I don't know what position I had there) had moved me into a different office. Without telling me. I had to ask a friend (one I did recognise from my waking life, but whom I have not seen for some time) where my stuff was and why I'd been moved. He didn't know why, but took me to what can only be described as a cupboard with bookshelves and a chair, where I found that all of my boxfiles of printed off articles, notes and my own work had been drenched in a large scale leak. I tried to get them out to dry them, but couldn't do it quickly enough; there was no space to spread them out and suddenly there was no one there to help.
Oh dear.
Oh dear.
Tuesday, 31 March 2009
All Change, please
I suppose for background to this post you need to know that I have been dating The Physio for around two months now. I've kept it a bit quiet, because it's very new, and it seems to be going well, and I didn't want to jinx it!
Last weekend The Physio was going away to North Eastern City for a stag night. Aspiring Author, my friend from the Beautiful Scottish City that I Miss, wanted to come and visit me and the Little Dog, so I thought that would be an ideal weekend. I could then spend the weekend with Aspiring Author without neglecting The Physio, or not spending enough time with Aspiring Author because I'm also trying to include The Physio (and I thought that Aspiring Author might be a bit uncomfortable sleeping in my living room if The Physio was in my room).
The Physio joked about me spending the weekend with another man the first time he went away, but did add that he wasn't really the jealous sort and that I "don't seem like the cheating type". I'd say this makes him a reasonably good judge of character, although I'm not entirely sure what the 'cheating type' is like.
But I'm pretty sure that I must have looked like the 'cheating type' at the train station on Sunday, when I walked into the station with Aspiring Author, hugged him (he's a good and long standing friend) as he got on the train, bought a coffee, walked over to the next platform, sat for 10 minutes waiting for the next train, hugged The Physio as he arrived and left the station with him.
I wonder what the station staff thought...
Last weekend The Physio was going away to North Eastern City for a stag night. Aspiring Author, my friend from the Beautiful Scottish City that I Miss, wanted to come and visit me and the Little Dog, so I thought that would be an ideal weekend. I could then spend the weekend with Aspiring Author without neglecting The Physio, or not spending enough time with Aspiring Author because I'm also trying to include The Physio (and I thought that Aspiring Author might be a bit uncomfortable sleeping in my living room if The Physio was in my room).
The Physio joked about me spending the weekend with another man the first time he went away, but did add that he wasn't really the jealous sort and that I "don't seem like the cheating type". I'd say this makes him a reasonably good judge of character, although I'm not entirely sure what the 'cheating type' is like.
But I'm pretty sure that I must have looked like the 'cheating type' at the train station on Sunday, when I walked into the station with Aspiring Author, hugged him (he's a good and long standing friend) as he got on the train, bought a coffee, walked over to the next platform, sat for 10 minutes waiting for the next train, hugged The Physio as he arrived and left the station with him.
I wonder what the station staff thought...
Sunday, 25 January 2009
Refreshed
I've have spent the weekend eating interesting, healthy, fresh, homecooked (but not by me), delicious, vegetarian food.
I have spent time sitting on a comfortable sofa in front of a wood-burning stove, and on a garden swing near a waterfall in the cool, fresh, winter air reading a book (which I have to read for work, but didn't feel like I was working).
I have gone to bed early and got up early, and spent most of the day wearing no shoes.
I have spent time with a close friend, whom I do not see as often as I would like.
I have spent hours practising yoga, meditating and doing pilates.
And I feel refreshed.
I have spent time sitting on a comfortable sofa in front of a wood-burning stove, and on a garden swing near a waterfall in the cool, fresh, winter air reading a book (which I have to read for work, but didn't feel like I was working).
I have gone to bed early and got up early, and spent most of the day wearing no shoes.
I have spent time with a close friend, whom I do not see as often as I would like.
I have spent hours practising yoga, meditating and doing pilates.
And I feel refreshed.
Friday, 2 January 2009
New Year Activity
Well, this is my first post of 2009, so I guess the first thing to do is to say "Happy New Year!" to all readers of Falling Leaves. I hope this year brings you health and happiness, in whatever form that might take.
Today is also my birthday, so for me the beginning of January is not just the beginning of a new calendar year, but also a new year in my life. I'm not just making New Year's resolutions for 2009 because that's what people traditionally do at the beginning of the year, but because there are things that I would like to have done before my next birthday (it's a major one - you know, of the kind that end in 0) and I shall have to be organised if I'm going to do them.
So my New Year's resolution is to be more active this year. I don't just mean physically active, although that wouldn't go amiss. I mean active in a more general sense. Below is a list of what I intend to do. These are not my resolutions; they are the means to achieving my one resolution.
1) I will manage my time better.
2) I will do more research (to be honest, it will not be hard to do more of this than last year) - this will make me more research active, and I will be taking more positive action towards getting a permanent job.
3) I will arrange to meet up with my friends more often. This will stop me talking passively over the internet / text messages, and will help me not to spend my evenings inactively on facebook.
4) I will listen to more music. More can be accomplished when listening to CDs / radio than when watching television.
5) I will find a Yoga class so that I can be active and still at the same time. Yoga also makes me feel physically and mentally better, so I'm hoping that it will contribute to a more positive outlook to help me achieve other things. And adding more activities into my life-timetable will mean I have to be better at time management.
That brings me back to the beginning of the list. And it seems to be enough to be getting on with for now!
May 2009 bring all you wish for, and good luck in sticking to your own resolutions!
Today is also my birthday, so for me the beginning of January is not just the beginning of a new calendar year, but also a new year in my life. I'm not just making New Year's resolutions for 2009 because that's what people traditionally do at the beginning of the year, but because there are things that I would like to have done before my next birthday (it's a major one - you know, of the kind that end in 0) and I shall have to be organised if I'm going to do them.
So my New Year's resolution is to be more active this year. I don't just mean physically active, although that wouldn't go amiss. I mean active in a more general sense. Below is a list of what I intend to do. These are not my resolutions; they are the means to achieving my one resolution.
1) I will manage my time better.
2) I will do more research (to be honest, it will not be hard to do more of this than last year) - this will make me more research active, and I will be taking more positive action towards getting a permanent job.
3) I will arrange to meet up with my friends more often. This will stop me talking passively over the internet / text messages, and will help me not to spend my evenings inactively on facebook.
4) I will listen to more music. More can be accomplished when listening to CDs / radio than when watching television.
5) I will find a Yoga class so that I can be active and still at the same time. Yoga also makes me feel physically and mentally better, so I'm hoping that it will contribute to a more positive outlook to help me achieve other things. And adding more activities into my life-timetable will mean I have to be better at time management.
That brings me back to the beginning of the list. And it seems to be enough to be getting on with for now!
May 2009 bring all you wish for, and good luck in sticking to your own resolutions!
Tuesday, 23 December 2008
Packing
Well I'm just about packed up for my trip to Supermum's house for the - to use an Americanism - "holiday season". I had to pack last night because I am at my secretary job all day today, and am being picked up straight after work. But now I have packed, I seem to have an awful lot of stuff for the two weeks I'll be there. It looks like I've packed for months!
Two of the bags are work-related stuff, though (a note to the London Busdriver - I may not have to be at work for two weeks, but I do have to work during that two weeks) to finish a couse handbook, write a review, mark essays and prep. for teaching. The good news about the latter is that I get to read novels and call it work. The bad news is that I need to read at least 4 of them. I have also packed a couple of pairs of fabulous shoes. Because at Christmas, New Year and on my birthday, I will get the opportunity to wear them. And I won't be able to wear them if I don't take them with me, will I?
The rapidly increasing number of bags I found I had packed reminded me of a friend from school, who would always pack two bags when she came to stay, even if it was only for one night: the bag of stuff she actually needed (nightdress, washbag, change of clothes) and then the stuff she brought just in case she needed it. Her "just in case" bag. It usually had other clothes in it, in case we went anywhere that required a particular outfit, and there had to be at least two outfits to choose from in case one didn't look right. And a variety of make up. And other strange items that I have now forgotten.
Because I can't drive, I tend not to pack a separate "just in case" bag. In much train travelling, I have learned that the smaller your bag, the better for ease of bag storage on the train, and - and this one is important - only pack what you can actually carry. That said, my New York friend once said to me, as I juggled suitcases onto a train to Newark airport, "my, you're strong for a wee thing". Well, I don't know about that, but I can usually carry my own suitcases.
But this time, for my Christmas trip to supermum's, I am very grateful I'm being collected. I have packed way more than I could possibly carry, and none of it is in a "just in case bag".
OK. Maybe I don't need all of the fabulous shoes. But if you can't wear fabulous shoes during the holiday season, when can you?
Two of the bags are work-related stuff, though (a note to the London Busdriver - I may not have to be at work for two weeks, but I do have to work during that two weeks) to finish a couse handbook, write a review, mark essays and prep. for teaching. The good news about the latter is that I get to read novels and call it work. The bad news is that I need to read at least 4 of them. I have also packed a couple of pairs of fabulous shoes. Because at Christmas, New Year and on my birthday, I will get the opportunity to wear them. And I won't be able to wear them if I don't take them with me, will I?
The rapidly increasing number of bags I found I had packed reminded me of a friend from school, who would always pack two bags when she came to stay, even if it was only for one night: the bag of stuff she actually needed (nightdress, washbag, change of clothes) and then the stuff she brought just in case she needed it. Her "just in case" bag. It usually had other clothes in it, in case we went anywhere that required a particular outfit, and there had to be at least two outfits to choose from in case one didn't look right. And a variety of make up. And other strange items that I have now forgotten.
Because I can't drive, I tend not to pack a separate "just in case" bag. In much train travelling, I have learned that the smaller your bag, the better for ease of bag storage on the train, and - and this one is important - only pack what you can actually carry. That said, my New York friend once said to me, as I juggled suitcases onto a train to Newark airport, "my, you're strong for a wee thing". Well, I don't know about that, but I can usually carry my own suitcases.
But this time, for my Christmas trip to supermum's, I am very grateful I'm being collected. I have packed way more than I could possibly carry, and none of it is in a "just in case bag".
OK. Maybe I don't need all of the fabulous shoes. But if you can't wear fabulous shoes during the holiday season, when can you?
Monday, 15 December 2008
Counting down.
Someone told me this morning that it will be Christmas day in ten days time.
I was inclined to laugh, until I realised that it was actually true.
Ten days to Christmas.
I am, at least, almost prepared in terms of presents. I'm afraid most of my shopping was done online this year. Not very Christmassy, I suppose, but I have put thought into presents and / or got people what they've asked for, so I guess that is what counts, rather than the going out and making my way through the Christmas shopping crowds. I will go out and buy Christmas cards for family, though; I like to spend time reading the cards until I find the right one. I've already got the ones to send out to friends, although I haven't sent them yet. It seems I might need to buy some more - it's nice to realise you have more friends than you thought!
But I haven't been feeling very Christmassy. This term has flown by so quickly, and I'm just about still afloat. I'm making a concerted effort to clear the 'left overs' from my desk before Christmas, but more stuff keeps being added on to the list (not metaphorically - I've actually written a list so that I don't forget things, and can tick things off it).
I don't think I'll get through all of it - I'm working in Philosophy for four days before Christmas - but I'll have a go.
Ten days isn't very long...
I was inclined to laugh, until I realised that it was actually true.
Ten days to Christmas.
I am, at least, almost prepared in terms of presents. I'm afraid most of my shopping was done online this year. Not very Christmassy, I suppose, but I have put thought into presents and / or got people what they've asked for, so I guess that is what counts, rather than the going out and making my way through the Christmas shopping crowds. I will go out and buy Christmas cards for family, though; I like to spend time reading the cards until I find the right one. I've already got the ones to send out to friends, although I haven't sent them yet. It seems I might need to buy some more - it's nice to realise you have more friends than you thought!
But I haven't been feeling very Christmassy. This term has flown by so quickly, and I'm just about still afloat. I'm making a concerted effort to clear the 'left overs' from my desk before Christmas, but more stuff keeps being added on to the list (not metaphorically - I've actually written a list so that I don't forget things, and can tick things off it).
I don't think I'll get through all of it - I'm working in Philosophy for four days before Christmas - but I'll have a go.
Ten days isn't very long...
Wednesday, 12 November 2008
Having Brunch and Talking Seriously About Work
On Monday I came back to the City where the Castle is also Prison after spending the weekend with my friends in the Beautiful Scottish City that I Miss. On Saturday, I had lunch with Aspiring Author, and later I had a lovely evening at Amy's birthday ceilidh, where I danced (a lot) and giggled more than I have giggled in a very long time.
After such a wonderful - but late! - night, September Blue (with whom I was staying) and I had a very lazy Sunday morning. I got up after a lie in, which is something of a luxury for me because my Little Dog doesn't usually sleep that long, and spent an hour or so sitting in my pyjamas finishing a novel (the one for job 4, but reading a novel doesn't feel like work).
When we were both up and dressed, and after a little time spent checking emails and playing scrabble on Facebook, we decided to go out for breakfast. I looked at my watch and said, 'I suppose we could call it brunch now, really'. 'Yes,' said September Blue jokingly, 'we should Have Brunch and Talk Seriously About Work'.
We walked down to the diner that makes cooked veggie breakfasts (including vegetarian haggis!), ordered the food and talked for a while about the prevous night's ceilidh, how much fun we'd had, and how different our social lives are since our cohort finished our PhDs, and I moved away from the Beautiful Scottish City that I Miss. And we talked about how we're doing juggling jobs (she has had more practice at this than I have; she's been doing it longer), and how very exciting it is that she is hearing positive things from a Big Named Journal about an article she has submitted to them in hope of publication. We talked about our future publication plans, our research plans, the job market and the poor conditions of TAs in all institutions.
I pointed out that we were actually Having Brunch and Talking Seriously About Work.
The waitress offered us dessert / coffee, and looking out of the window and seeing it was raining heavily, and not being inclined to move anywhere, we ordered more coffee.
And talked about deadlines, and friends, and thesis submission (ours and theirs)...
[pause to order vanilla cheesecake with two spoons, and 2 decaff coffees]
...bad boyfriends, former boyfriends, potential boyfriends, and our mutual friend who is Young and Fashionable, and the advantages and disadvantages of internet dating.
The diner was starting to get busy, and we were nearly finished with our coffees; it was no longer raining so heavily, and we'd probably been there around 2 hours, so we decided to pay the bill and leave. We were back in plenty of time for me to pack my bag and catch a train to Road Grid City to spend some time with The PhDLitChick.
It was a very luxuriously lazy and lovely way to spend a Sunday (and a whole weekend).
And I realised how very much I miss spending time and being silly with my friends in the Beautiful Scottish City that I Miss, and Having Brunch and Talking Seriously About Work.
After such a wonderful - but late! - night, September Blue (with whom I was staying) and I had a very lazy Sunday morning. I got up after a lie in, which is something of a luxury for me because my Little Dog doesn't usually sleep that long, and spent an hour or so sitting in my pyjamas finishing a novel (the one for job 4, but reading a novel doesn't feel like work).
When we were both up and dressed, and after a little time spent checking emails and playing scrabble on Facebook, we decided to go out for breakfast. I looked at my watch and said, 'I suppose we could call it brunch now, really'. 'Yes,' said September Blue jokingly, 'we should Have Brunch and Talk Seriously About Work'.
We walked down to the diner that makes cooked veggie breakfasts (including vegetarian haggis!), ordered the food and talked for a while about the prevous night's ceilidh, how much fun we'd had, and how different our social lives are since our cohort finished our PhDs, and I moved away from the Beautiful Scottish City that I Miss. And we talked about how we're doing juggling jobs (she has had more practice at this than I have; she's been doing it longer), and how very exciting it is that she is hearing positive things from a Big Named Journal about an article she has submitted to them in hope of publication. We talked about our future publication plans, our research plans, the job market and the poor conditions of TAs in all institutions.
I pointed out that we were actually Having Brunch and Talking Seriously About Work.
The waitress offered us dessert / coffee, and looking out of the window and seeing it was raining heavily, and not being inclined to move anywhere, we ordered more coffee.
And talked about deadlines, and friends, and thesis submission (ours and theirs)...
[pause to order vanilla cheesecake with two spoons, and 2 decaff coffees]
...bad boyfriends, former boyfriends, potential boyfriends, and our mutual friend who is Young and Fashionable, and the advantages and disadvantages of internet dating.
The diner was starting to get busy, and we were nearly finished with our coffees; it was no longer raining so heavily, and we'd probably been there around 2 hours, so we decided to pay the bill and leave. We were back in plenty of time for me to pack my bag and catch a train to Road Grid City to spend some time with The PhDLitChick.
It was a very luxuriously lazy and lovely way to spend a Sunday (and a whole weekend).
And I realised how very much I miss spending time and being silly with my friends in the Beautiful Scottish City that I Miss, and Having Brunch and Talking Seriously About Work.
Monday, 7 July 2008
Who are my friends?
Well, I finally gave in and joined up to Facebook. Joining didn't seem to be difficult, but there is so much stuff on the screen that I'm finding actually using it very complicated. No one who told me to join told me it would be confusing. I think they should have.
But I have to say the strangest thing about it, is being told who my friends are. "Autumn and ThePhDLitChick are now friends", it tells me confidently at 11am; "Autumn and the Italian Speaker are now friends" it tells me slightly later. And I find myself thinking surely this was true before? Does it take linking to them through an internet networking site for this to be true? Does linking on Facebook suddenly make this indisputable fact? And then I think, can friendships be facts? And then I think, perhaps I should be thinking about something else...
But I have to say the strangest thing about it, is being told who my friends are. "Autumn and ThePhDLitChick are now friends", it tells me confidently at 11am; "Autumn and the Italian Speaker are now friends" it tells me slightly later. And I find myself thinking surely this was true before? Does it take linking to them through an internet networking site for this to be true? Does linking on Facebook suddenly make this indisputable fact? And then I think, can friendships be facts? And then I think, perhaps I should be thinking about something else...
Wednesday, 28 May 2008
Friends and Colleagues
I've just been to see the Sex and the City Movie. I wasn't sure what to expect - I had mixed feelings about the ending of the TV series because of my doubts about overly tidy happy endings and I wondered where they could possibly go with the relationships in the film that wouldn't have me tearing my realistic hair out. It turns out that I really enjoyed the film. I wasn't annoyed and I laughed and cried in all the appropriate places. I'm not going to say any more so I don't need to give a spoiler warning. All I will say is that I'd recommend it to those of you who enjoyed the TV series. I don't think you'll be disappointed.
I went to see it with two of my colleagues from work. They've worked together for at least 18months, have offices next door to each other and seem to be good friends. After the film they talked to each other about it. I threw the odd comment in to the discussion, but I didn't play any significant part in the conversation. We'd got out of the cinema screen, out of the cinema and half way across the street before either of them asked me what I thought. I'm sure they didn't deliberately exclude me. It's just hard to 'break in' to established friendship groups, and I'm sure I haven't been here long enough to be one of 'the girls'. And having come out of a film about a close network of 'girl-friends' and just returned from a trip to the Beautiful Scottish City that I Miss where I met and spent time at the cinema, having coffee, dancing and giggling til the early hours with old friends, it's tough to adjust to a place where you aren't one of the insiders. And I think I'll probably have to move elsewhere before I've had time to 'fit in' here.
It's not that Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda have something I don't (apart from boyfriends!) - I do have a group of very close friends. And actually several of them are men, so I have something that the Sex and the City girls don't seem to have. And I feel very lucky to have that. But I'd like to be close enough to those friends to go out for a drink in the evening, or a coffee in the afternoon, or a trip to the cinema where the immediate conversation after the film would include me.
It was lovely to be back in the Beautiful Scottish City that I Miss last weekend, with the friends that I miss even more. And seeing a film essentially, although not explicitly, about friendship with a group of people that I'm not yet quite a part of makes it harder to be away, but I know my friends are there for me, if not here, and I hope they know that I'm here, if not there, for them.
Anyone fancy a coffee...?
I went to see it with two of my colleagues from work. They've worked together for at least 18months, have offices next door to each other and seem to be good friends. After the film they talked to each other about it. I threw the odd comment in to the discussion, but I didn't play any significant part in the conversation. We'd got out of the cinema screen, out of the cinema and half way across the street before either of them asked me what I thought. I'm sure they didn't deliberately exclude me. It's just hard to 'break in' to established friendship groups, and I'm sure I haven't been here long enough to be one of 'the girls'. And having come out of a film about a close network of 'girl-friends' and just returned from a trip to the Beautiful Scottish City that I Miss where I met and spent time at the cinema, having coffee, dancing and giggling til the early hours with old friends, it's tough to adjust to a place where you aren't one of the insiders. And I think I'll probably have to move elsewhere before I've had time to 'fit in' here.
It's not that Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda have something I don't (apart from boyfriends!) - I do have a group of very close friends. And actually several of them are men, so I have something that the Sex and the City girls don't seem to have. And I feel very lucky to have that. But I'd like to be close enough to those friends to go out for a drink in the evening, or a coffee in the afternoon, or a trip to the cinema where the immediate conversation after the film would include me.
It was lovely to be back in the Beautiful Scottish City that I Miss last weekend, with the friends that I miss even more. And seeing a film essentially, although not explicitly, about friendship with a group of people that I'm not yet quite a part of makes it harder to be away, but I know my friends are there for me, if not here, and I hope they know that I'm here, if not there, for them.
Anyone fancy a coffee...?
Saturday, 29 March 2008
Healthy cynicism?
A fortnight ago, a friend who is Naturally Beautiful but Doesn't Really Know It came to stay with me. I was watching an episode of Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman when she arrived (I have several of the seasons on DVD - it's one of the programmes that I really enjoy watching, however corny we may all agree that it is). I left it running in the background and turned down the volume while we caught up with each other's news. At one point Naturally Beautiful, who had just looked up at the TV screen, said "Oooh, he's a bit tasty!". I was fairly sure who she was talking about, but I turned to look and agreed - yes, he is. This is one of the reasons I like watching Dr Quinn.
We started to talk about the other reasons I like it, and she asked me a question which I have previously asked myself. In fact, SuperMum asked me something similar last week when we watched Bulletproof Monk (which I also like). Why is it that I like this, with its many 'happy endings' but that romantic comedy films make me cross. I watch these romantic comedy. They make me smile - often they make me giggle - but in the end they usually make me cross. Why? Because the world is not like that. Not all relationship problems are surmountable with a hurried drive to the airport to stop her getting on the plane, or a New Year party where if you kiss someone you'll be with them all year. Lots of relationship problems are not fixable. Sometimes life kicks you - hard - in the stomach and you just have to stand up and move on. This is not the stuff of romantic comedy.
Why doesn't Bulletproof Monk make me cross? Because it doesn't ask me to buy into 'love conquers all'. It asks me to suspend my disbelief, pretty much from beginning to end, and doesn't really make a secret of this, and doesn't present itself as 'real'. Romantic Comedy asks me to buy into 'real' happy endings. And these happy endings often just 'forget' about the previous problems. They haven't been addressed, dealt with and overcome; they've just been set to one side - outside the genre of the romantic comedy ending - and the writers, producers and directors expect the audience to forget these problems too. It sells the fairy-tale romance, and we [are supposed to] buy into it. I'm not sure I do, anymore.
Yes, this might be cynical. It might be, as Naturally Beautiful suggested, entirely different were I dating someone. But for now I'm not, and I don't want to be fooled into buying into 'Hollywood love'.
So, what is it about Dr Quinn that I am prepared to buy into? Well, I think it's an advocation of an old fashioned, pulling together, community spirit - it's not just about romantic relationships. Things don't always work out and it doesn't often ask me to conveniently forget problems for the purposes of a happy ending. But it does have happy endings.
I'm not really against them. I am, in fact, looking for my happy ending. But if / when it comes, I don't want it to be romantic comedy contrived - partly because at some point those problems we conveniently forget will find us, and by that point everyone's in too deep not to get hurt. There's nothing wrong with a bit of realism. Even if it at times it seems cynical...
We started to talk about the other reasons I like it, and she asked me a question which I have previously asked myself. In fact, SuperMum asked me something similar last week when we watched Bulletproof Monk (which I also like). Why is it that I like this, with its many 'happy endings' but that romantic comedy films make me cross. I watch these romantic comedy. They make me smile - often they make me giggle - but in the end they usually make me cross. Why? Because the world is not like that. Not all relationship problems are surmountable with a hurried drive to the airport to stop her getting on the plane, or a New Year party where if you kiss someone you'll be with them all year. Lots of relationship problems are not fixable. Sometimes life kicks you - hard - in the stomach and you just have to stand up and move on. This is not the stuff of romantic comedy.
Why doesn't Bulletproof Monk make me cross? Because it doesn't ask me to buy into 'love conquers all'. It asks me to suspend my disbelief, pretty much from beginning to end, and doesn't really make a secret of this, and doesn't present itself as 'real'. Romantic Comedy asks me to buy into 'real' happy endings. And these happy endings often just 'forget' about the previous problems. They haven't been addressed, dealt with and overcome; they've just been set to one side - outside the genre of the romantic comedy ending - and the writers, producers and directors expect the audience to forget these problems too. It sells the fairy-tale romance, and we [are supposed to] buy into it. I'm not sure I do, anymore.
Yes, this might be cynical. It might be, as Naturally Beautiful suggested, entirely different were I dating someone. But for now I'm not, and I don't want to be fooled into buying into 'Hollywood love'.
So, what is it about Dr Quinn that I am prepared to buy into? Well, I think it's an advocation of an old fashioned, pulling together, community spirit - it's not just about romantic relationships. Things don't always work out and it doesn't often ask me to conveniently forget problems for the purposes of a happy ending. But it does have happy endings.
I'm not really against them. I am, in fact, looking for my happy ending. But if / when it comes, I don't want it to be romantic comedy contrived - partly because at some point those problems we conveniently forget will find us, and by that point everyone's in too deep not to get hurt. There's nothing wrong with a bit of realism. Even if it at times it seems cynical...
Tuesday, 18 March 2008
The significance of everyday things
Yesterday morning I was putting on a different necklace - I usually wear the same one for 'everyday' activities and change it only when I'm going somewhere, or if the top I'm wearing requires a larger pendant / longer chain etc. I decided the new one didn't look right, took it off and reached for my usual necklace. It's a short silver chain, on which hangs a silver cross, anchor and heart, attached together on a very small silver ring.
People I meet wonder what's on the chain, as these items usually hang one on top of the other. Friends who have known me for a long time suddenly reach over to get hold of them and take a closer look. "I have worn this almost every day of the four years you have known me!", I said to The Piano Player. "Really! Well, maybe it's usually hidden under your jumper", he said. "Maybe", I agree, but I wonder if it just because I do wear it everyday that he's never noticed it before. "What is it?", he asked. I explained it's a cross, an anchor and a heart, representing Faith, Hope and Love/Charity. I've had a similar conversation on several occasions. "Why is the anchor Hope?", someone asks. I'm no longer entirely sure, but I say something I remember from junior school assemblies about Hope being your anchor: "May your anchor hold in the storms of life" goes the song I remember singing, but don't remember any more lines. But however vague my memory of this may be, I do believe that an anchor of Hope is a wonderful and positive image, and one I like to hold on to.
The necklace was given to me when I was still at school, by a friend with whom I have long lost touch. I don't remember why she gave it to me. We weren't best friends, but we were good friends (I think we bonded over dental braces). I'm fairly sure the necklace was not a birthday or Christmas present. Its overt significance as a gift has been lost somewhere along the line. But every now and then as I reach for my everyday necklace, I remember that she bought it for me and wonder what she's doing now. And I wonder what she would think if she knew I still wear it at all, let alone everyday.
I wear my necklace of Faith, Hope and Love without thinking much about its significance. It's only when I'm asked, that I am consciously aware of the meaning of the cross, anchor and heart symbols I wear everyday. I don't know whether Also Had Braces meant me always to have Faith, Hope and Love with me, or whether it was a pretty and affordable necklace for a girl in her early teens to buy for a friend. But that's not to say I feel no connection to or responsibility for the beliefs, ideas and friendship tied up in my necklace - it's just that my wearing of it is not a fully conscious or deliberate demonstration of these things.
Sometimes, I think, it takes an inquisitive eye, a new perspective, or indeed the 'wrongness' of an alternative necklace, to remind us all of the significance of everyday things.
People I meet wonder what's on the chain, as these items usually hang one on top of the other. Friends who have known me for a long time suddenly reach over to get hold of them and take a closer look. "I have worn this almost every day of the four years you have known me!", I said to The Piano Player. "Really! Well, maybe it's usually hidden under your jumper", he said. "Maybe", I agree, but I wonder if it just because I do wear it everyday that he's never noticed it before. "What is it?", he asked. I explained it's a cross, an anchor and a heart, representing Faith, Hope and Love/Charity. I've had a similar conversation on several occasions. "Why is the anchor Hope?", someone asks. I'm no longer entirely sure, but I say something I remember from junior school assemblies about Hope being your anchor: "May your anchor hold in the storms of life" goes the song I remember singing, but don't remember any more lines. But however vague my memory of this may be, I do believe that an anchor of Hope is a wonderful and positive image, and one I like to hold on to.
The necklace was given to me when I was still at school, by a friend with whom I have long lost touch. I don't remember why she gave it to me. We weren't best friends, but we were good friends (I think we bonded over dental braces). I'm fairly sure the necklace was not a birthday or Christmas present. Its overt significance as a gift has been lost somewhere along the line. But every now and then as I reach for my everyday necklace, I remember that she bought it for me and wonder what she's doing now. And I wonder what she would think if she knew I still wear it at all, let alone everyday.
I wear my necklace of Faith, Hope and Love without thinking much about its significance. It's only when I'm asked, that I am consciously aware of the meaning of the cross, anchor and heart symbols I wear everyday. I don't know whether Also Had Braces meant me always to have Faith, Hope and Love with me, or whether it was a pretty and affordable necklace for a girl in her early teens to buy for a friend. But that's not to say I feel no connection to or responsibility for the beliefs, ideas and friendship tied up in my necklace - it's just that my wearing of it is not a fully conscious or deliberate demonstration of these things.
Sometimes, I think, it takes an inquisitive eye, a new perspective, or indeed the 'wrongness' of an alternative necklace, to remind us all of the significance of everyday things.
Wednesday, 5 March 2008
Keeping in Touch
Last weekend, Sees Through the Eyes of Children and I went to our Old School Reunion Dinner. We have been to these events before, but they are usually small affairs with very few people that we know. The good thing, of course, is that we always know someone, when we go together. The Nursery Teacher that Sees Through the Eyes of Children works with also went to our school, although some years before us. Standing alone because my sister had been called away for some committee business (she was in part responsible for organising this event), I waved wildly as Nursery Teacher arrived in the bar of the hotel where we held The Dinner - 'Ooooh, thank you for recognising me!' she said.
Others arrived, but I didn't see anyone from my year. Then Divorce Lawyer with whom I did A Level History (although she was a year above me in school) and Practice Nurse (who was in my class when we were 4, but was 'promoted' to a higher class because she was slightly older when the infant school grew) arrived. They are still in touch with each other - it's clear their friendship has stood strong for the years since school. Still no one from my year group though. Sees Through the Eyes of Children came back, and we spoke to other people we knew and faces we recognised. It was lovely to have so many people of such wide ranging ages in one place with something in common. It seems those from other year groups had not forgotten old arguments and rivalries though: 'You can see who she's with, can't you!' was mumbled to us by someone. The school has been closed for some years now. Maybe it's time to let that go, whatever it was...
Finally, after dinner, Sees Through the Eyes of Children and I found other members of our class. Accountants, Family Workers, all sorts of career choices had come from all over the UK to this gathering. And it was lovely to see them. They're still in touch with each other - much more than we have been in touch with them. There have been weddings (Congratulations!) and sadnesses since we last saw each other, but it was great to catch up with their news and see how they all are. And we talked about those who weren't there, and who had got married and who had children, and whose little sisters were getting married (this last was a little depressing to me in my singledom!). We all had a lovely evening. And it made me want to try harder to keep in touch.
I have resisted signing up to social networking sites like Facebook. I'm wary of how much information about me I put in the public domain, particularly as you cannot entirely delete yourself from Facebook if you decide to leave it. I am listed on Friends Reunited, and receive update emails whenever anyone in 'my places' adds news, but I have not actively used it to keep in touch. I should have. And, as all my schoolfriends that I met last Saturday evening are on Facebook, I might now give in to the peer pressure (not something I do often) and sign up. It seems to be a good way to stay in touch with those you don't see, or who are not close friends, but whose news you want to hear. For the one who is posting the news, it's passive communication. In our busy lives, sadly there is not always the time to write long letters, or speak on the phone to everyone we want to, or indeed to everyone we should. It's both a good and a bad thing about the internet and its communication revolutions that it facilitates such passivity. But some things should be told to people personally (through whatever medium). Time should be made for this. However easy social networking might now be, we should not be careless in our communications.
Our friends should be far too important for that.
Others arrived, but I didn't see anyone from my year. Then Divorce Lawyer with whom I did A Level History (although she was a year above me in school) and Practice Nurse (who was in my class when we were 4, but was 'promoted' to a higher class because she was slightly older when the infant school grew) arrived. They are still in touch with each other - it's clear their friendship has stood strong for the years since school. Still no one from my year group though. Sees Through the Eyes of Children came back, and we spoke to other people we knew and faces we recognised. It was lovely to have so many people of such wide ranging ages in one place with something in common. It seems those from other year groups had not forgotten old arguments and rivalries though: 'You can see who she's with, can't you!' was mumbled to us by someone. The school has been closed for some years now. Maybe it's time to let that go, whatever it was...
Finally, after dinner, Sees Through the Eyes of Children and I found other members of our class. Accountants, Family Workers, all sorts of career choices had come from all over the UK to this gathering. And it was lovely to see them. They're still in touch with each other - much more than we have been in touch with them. There have been weddings (Congratulations!) and sadnesses since we last saw each other, but it was great to catch up with their news and see how they all are. And we talked about those who weren't there, and who had got married and who had children, and whose little sisters were getting married (this last was a little depressing to me in my singledom!). We all had a lovely evening. And it made me want to try harder to keep in touch.
I have resisted signing up to social networking sites like Facebook. I'm wary of how much information about me I put in the public domain, particularly as you cannot entirely delete yourself from Facebook if you decide to leave it. I am listed on Friends Reunited, and receive update emails whenever anyone in 'my places' adds news, but I have not actively used it to keep in touch. I should have. And, as all my schoolfriends that I met last Saturday evening are on Facebook, I might now give in to the peer pressure (not something I do often) and sign up. It seems to be a good way to stay in touch with those you don't see, or who are not close friends, but whose news you want to hear. For the one who is posting the news, it's passive communication. In our busy lives, sadly there is not always the time to write long letters, or speak on the phone to everyone we want to, or indeed to everyone we should. It's both a good and a bad thing about the internet and its communication revolutions that it facilitates such passivity. But some things should be told to people personally (through whatever medium). Time should be made for this. However easy social networking might now be, we should not be careless in our communications.
Our friends should be far too important for that.
Tuesday, 26 February 2008
The news in brief. Or not so brief...
Well, it's been quite a week (and it's only Tuesday!). Really, I mean in a 7 days sort of way...
Today at 2pm I gave a lecture I finished writing at 1pm and taught a class 1-2pm. Cutting it a bit fine, eh?
Yesterday I gave a lecture I finished last Friday. Had I finished it on Wednesday according to the original plan which, as ever, was foiled by my inability to decide when enough reading is enough, or force myself to sit and write things before the matter becomes urgent, I could have finished today's lecture before today. I say I could have, but well, see the stuff about sticking to plans I just said...
And last week was mid term reading week. I'm very glad I wasn't teaching then.
Tomorrow, I'm having one of my classes observed. I'm so tired from the seemingly unrelenting lecture prep I've been doing for a week (immediately after finishing the marking I've been doing for ... ever???) that I can't even think about tomorrow's class. Let's hope the students in that class come with their best 'enquiring minds' and are trying to help me out. Some of them will. They are bright students, who enjoy lively discussion and usually come prepared. Some of them, however, don't like me ever since I drew attention to the fact that I knew that when they were supposed to be doing group work they were actually talking about how to excuse yourself from seminar absences (I swear I heard, 'Well, when you look at it, you've got 4 grandparents' come out of one of their mouths - in the middle of a seminar, when they were supposed to be doing something else and I hadn't left the room. Come on boys, use your brains, just a little bit).
This weekend Sees Through the Eyes of Children and I are going to a school reunion. It seems that there will, this year, be more people there that we might know. Maybe a post on this at a later date.
The weekend after that I have an interview for a post doc job down south. Way down South. Hey, I'm trying to get back up North! This was not the plan.
I forgot to publicly congratulate Aspiring Author on his new job. Well done. This is not 'news' so much any more, but I don't want to miss him out.
Needs Buckets More Confidence has also just got a permanent teaching job at a place she wants to be. I'm so very very pleased for her too. Hopefully this will start to give you the Buckets More Confidence that you need.
I have signed up to an internet provider for the New Flat. Hopefully will be connected in the next week or so. I am looking forward to that with some excitement. I might then post more frequently. Who knows? That way, I wouldn't have to try to squeeze all news into one hurried post...
Today at 2pm I gave a lecture I finished writing at 1pm and taught a class 1-2pm. Cutting it a bit fine, eh?
Yesterday I gave a lecture I finished last Friday. Had I finished it on Wednesday according to the original plan which, as ever, was foiled by my inability to decide when enough reading is enough, or force myself to sit and write things before the matter becomes urgent, I could have finished today's lecture before today. I say I could have, but well, see the stuff about sticking to plans I just said...
And last week was mid term reading week. I'm very glad I wasn't teaching then.
Tomorrow, I'm having one of my classes observed. I'm so tired from the seemingly unrelenting lecture prep I've been doing for a week (immediately after finishing the marking I've been doing for ... ever???) that I can't even think about tomorrow's class. Let's hope the students in that class come with their best 'enquiring minds' and are trying to help me out. Some of them will. They are bright students, who enjoy lively discussion and usually come prepared. Some of them, however, don't like me ever since I drew attention to the fact that I knew that when they were supposed to be doing group work they were actually talking about how to excuse yourself from seminar absences (I swear I heard, 'Well, when you look at it, you've got 4 grandparents' come out of one of their mouths - in the middle of a seminar, when they were supposed to be doing something else and I hadn't left the room. Come on boys, use your brains, just a little bit).
This weekend Sees Through the Eyes of Children and I are going to a school reunion. It seems that there will, this year, be more people there that we might know. Maybe a post on this at a later date.
The weekend after that I have an interview for a post doc job down south. Way down South. Hey, I'm trying to get back up North! This was not the plan.
I forgot to publicly congratulate Aspiring Author on his new job. Well done. This is not 'news' so much any more, but I don't want to miss him out.
Needs Buckets More Confidence has also just got a permanent teaching job at a place she wants to be. I'm so very very pleased for her too. Hopefully this will start to give you the Buckets More Confidence that you need.
I have signed up to an internet provider for the New Flat. Hopefully will be connected in the next week or so. I am looking forward to that with some excitement. I might then post more frequently. Who knows? That way, I wouldn't have to try to squeeze all news into one hurried post...
Monday, 11 February 2008
Names
Names are important. I choose to adopt a pseudonym for the blog so that what I write won't immediately be traced back to me. It gives me a freedom to say things about work and students and academia which I wouldn't necessarily want to whole academic world to read. But I chose Autumn Song because I have a fondness for autumn colours, and I think it suits me. Maybe those who know me disagree...
The names by which I am known have, until now, been a good indicator of the point in my life when the people who use them met me. My sister, who is so good at her primary school teaching job because she Sees Through the Eyes of Children has her own name for me, which others don't use. Supermum uses a mix of nicknames, full names and abreviations. Those friends I have had since I was young use one shortening of my name; those who met me at university use another. It's not a hard and fast rule, but it works most of the time. And I quite like the distinctions. It would seem odd to me if someone from one of these groups started to use the name used by the other. There are, of course, those friends and acquaintances who never use an abbreviation, either because we are not close, or because they choose not to. I don't remember He Who Once Loved Me ever shortening my name. I didn't take that as a lack of affection.
Today, one of my students sent an email to the course convenor with a request to reorganise the virtual learning environment page for the course. (And he's right, it does need tidying up.) In giving an example, he made a reference to me using a shortening of my name. I've had a few emails addressed like that too, from other students. I don't expect my students to call me Dr. or Ms. or anything particularly formal. In fact, I prefer it when they use my first name - I don't like to enforce hierarchies with students, and I find telling them to use my first name is a good way to make them feel their opinion counts for as much as mine in seminar discussions. I always address them using whichever name they use to introduce themselves in the first class (I ask them to introduce themselves by the name which they would like me to use rather than the one I've been given on the formal register) and expect them to use my name as I introduce myself to them. Shortening it implies a level of familiarity I don't feel is appropriate (there has been an exception, when a whole group chose to address me by my initials, but they asked my permission to do it, and I agreed, and I don't think this is quite the same).
What names people use is important to me - what they ask me to call them, and what they call me. Is there a way to stamp out this familiarity without seeming to assert strict hierarchies I don't want to enforce? (or upsetting those students who are over familiar without thinking about it?) Or am I doomed to be abbreviated indiscriminately for the rest of my career? Maybe I need to come up with a new name entirely for my newly qualified academic life...
Any suggestions?
The names by which I am known have, until now, been a good indicator of the point in my life when the people who use them met me. My sister, who is so good at her primary school teaching job because she Sees Through the Eyes of Children has her own name for me, which others don't use. Supermum uses a mix of nicknames, full names and abreviations. Those friends I have had since I was young use one shortening of my name; those who met me at university use another. It's not a hard and fast rule, but it works most of the time. And I quite like the distinctions. It would seem odd to me if someone from one of these groups started to use the name used by the other. There are, of course, those friends and acquaintances who never use an abbreviation, either because we are not close, or because they choose not to. I don't remember He Who Once Loved Me ever shortening my name. I didn't take that as a lack of affection.
Today, one of my students sent an email to the course convenor with a request to reorganise the virtual learning environment page for the course. (And he's right, it does need tidying up.) In giving an example, he made a reference to me using a shortening of my name. I've had a few emails addressed like that too, from other students. I don't expect my students to call me Dr. or Ms. or anything particularly formal. In fact, I prefer it when they use my first name - I don't like to enforce hierarchies with students, and I find telling them to use my first name is a good way to make them feel their opinion counts for as much as mine in seminar discussions. I always address them using whichever name they use to introduce themselves in the first class (I ask them to introduce themselves by the name which they would like me to use rather than the one I've been given on the formal register) and expect them to use my name as I introduce myself to them. Shortening it implies a level of familiarity I don't feel is appropriate (there has been an exception, when a whole group chose to address me by my initials, but they asked my permission to do it, and I agreed, and I don't think this is quite the same).
What names people use is important to me - what they ask me to call them, and what they call me. Is there a way to stamp out this familiarity without seeming to assert strict hierarchies I don't want to enforce? (or upsetting those students who are over familiar without thinking about it?) Or am I doomed to be abbreviated indiscriminately for the rest of my career? Maybe I need to come up with a new name entirely for my newly qualified academic life...
Any suggestions?
Wednesday, 7 November 2007
Birthday wishes
Just a quick post today to say:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
to my friends - Amy, whose birthday is today, BF and KP, whose birthdays are also this week, and September Blue's dad, Emily H, and Tomorrow's Doctor whose birthdays are next week. (Don't worry Mum, I haven't forgotten you - you get a post of your own later!)
Have a wonderful time. I'm sure BF will make cake for those of you in Beautiful Scottish City That I Miss. Eat some for me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
to my friends - Amy, whose birthday is today, BF and KP, whose birthdays are also this week, and September Blue's dad, Emily H, and Tomorrow's Doctor whose birthdays are next week. (Don't worry Mum, I haven't forgotten you - you get a post of your own later!)
Have a wonderful time. I'm sure BF will make cake for those of you in Beautiful Scottish City That I Miss. Eat some for me.
Wednesday, 10 October 2007
Update 1
Hello! Long time no blogging from me. But, to be fair, I have been a little busy! I have found somewhere to live, although can't move in to it yet, so am staying in a lovely Bed and Breakfast for the days of the week that I have to be on campus, and with my mum for the rest of the time. I have been to a wedding - Congratulations to the bride and groom - and I have started my new job. As it was introductory week, I didn't have too much prep to do, but I have to write a lecture for a week on Monday, and there is, of course, much more reading to do for the seminars from now on.
Learning my students' names - something I pride myself on - is going to be tricky this year. I have 12 tutorial groups, mostly in the same 2 rooms, so I'm afraid they are all merging into one at the moment. I'm sure as the personalities of the individuals and the groups emerge I'll find it easier to separate them and remember students' names, but it may take me longer than the usual week to learn names this time. Sorry!
Everyone I've met here seems to be very friendly and supportive. And although I'm missing my friends in the beautiful Scottish City where I used to live very much indeed, moving onwards and upwards is what I need to do. As much as it would be very comfortable, you can't stay a postgrad student in the place you know well for ever. And to be honest, who would want to?
Learning my students' names - something I pride myself on - is going to be tricky this year. I have 12 tutorial groups, mostly in the same 2 rooms, so I'm afraid they are all merging into one at the moment. I'm sure as the personalities of the individuals and the groups emerge I'll find it easier to separate them and remember students' names, but it may take me longer than the usual week to learn names this time. Sorry!
Everyone I've met here seems to be very friendly and supportive. And although I'm missing my friends in the beautiful Scottish City where I used to live very much indeed, moving onwards and upwards is what I need to do. As much as it would be very comfortable, you can't stay a postgrad student in the place you know well for ever. And to be honest, who would want to?
Sunday, 5 August 2007
One veggie burger and a steak sandwich
After another productive morning at the NLS yesterday, I met The Accountant for lunch. he's not my Accountant (financially or romantically) but he is my 'plus one' for parties, weddings, etc, when I don't have a boyfriend. The Accountant and I go back about nine years now - he was in the same Halls of Residence as me in the first year of our undergrad studies.
There was, briefly, the possibility of romance the first time he was my 'plus one' to a school reunion Ball. We - well, OK, he - decided it wouldn't work out between us. He said he's a bad boyfriend and liked me too much to screw up our friendship by a bad break up. I have my suspicions that he isn't as bad a boyfriend as he claims, and he just uses that as an excuse to maintain his very quiet, 'don't rock the boat' life [of the Will Young song 'If I lose the highs at least I'm spared the lows' sort of life]. But still, as reasons for not dating someone go, that's one of the nicer ones. (But no, to any men reading this, it is not a get out of gaol free card.)
Now The Accountant and I have an imaginary 'line' drawn between us. There's laughing, flirting, mickey-taking (chemistry, in short), but 'the line' is never crossed. Flirting is safe, because nothing will come of it - and we all know that it's important to keep the flirt muscles exercised! And we don't look like we brought a friend to a function because we couldn't get a date; slow dancing isn't awkward (OK, maybe in that respect sometimes we kick sand over 'the line'...).
As a friendship, it's great. As each other's 'plus one' it works. But when I think about it, I guess he's right - we wouldn't work as a couple. We are very different people. Perhaps too different for a long term relationship: I like pets; The Accountant doesn't want the responsibility. I like to be around people; The Accountant doesn't.
Lunch restaurant waitress: Are you ready to order?
Me: Yes, I'd like the veggie burger, please.
The Accountant: And I'll have the steak sandwich.
There was, briefly, the possibility of romance the first time he was my 'plus one' to a school reunion Ball. We - well, OK, he - decided it wouldn't work out between us. He said he's a bad boyfriend and liked me too much to screw up our friendship by a bad break up. I have my suspicions that he isn't as bad a boyfriend as he claims, and he just uses that as an excuse to maintain his very quiet, 'don't rock the boat' life [of the Will Young song 'If I lose the highs at least I'm spared the lows' sort of life]. But still, as reasons for not dating someone go, that's one of the nicer ones. (But no, to any men reading this, it is not a get out of gaol free card.)
Now The Accountant and I have an imaginary 'line' drawn between us. There's laughing, flirting, mickey-taking (chemistry, in short), but 'the line' is never crossed. Flirting is safe, because nothing will come of it - and we all know that it's important to keep the flirt muscles exercised! And we don't look like we brought a friend to a function because we couldn't get a date; slow dancing isn't awkward (OK, maybe in that respect sometimes we kick sand over 'the line'...).
As a friendship, it's great. As each other's 'plus one' it works. But when I think about it, I guess he's right - we wouldn't work as a couple. We are very different people. Perhaps too different for a long term relationship: I like pets; The Accountant doesn't want the responsibility. I like to be around people; The Accountant doesn't.
Lunch restaurant waitress: Are you ready to order?
Me: Yes, I'd like the veggie burger, please.
The Accountant: And I'll have the steak sandwich.
Thursday, 14 June 2007
Indulgences
Indulgences. Interesting things. It's fascinating what different people count as an indulgence. To some it's a bottle of wine or a slice of chocolate cake; to others it's curling up on the sofa to watch a favourite film or read a new, or indeed an old, book. When you're a PhD student (and, I suspect, a fully fledged academic) it's doing anything that isn't research or teaching related. At the beginning of this month I allowed my self the ultimate indulgence for a PhD student in the writing up period: I went on holiday.
I took the holiday I always take at this time of year to indulge what someone in my academic field once described as my 'errant interest in the Brontes'. I went to Haworth for the Bronte Society AGM events. Now, I've been going to these since I was 15, and I always go alone. But I'm never alone for long. The Bronte Society has given me friends - good friends - all over the world, and every year brings new people from new places, all walks of life, and new friendships. We aren't all academics; this year I met a dancer/choreographer and a writer from the States, and old friends include a nurse, an academic, a musician and a joiner. And it's easy to make friends; you see, we always have something to talk about (this year conversation ranged from Bronte biography, through modern poetry, to our favourite TV shows / actors, to Internet dating) - we have a common interest to start things off. You don't have to know all there is to know about the Bronte family and their literature; you don't have to be an academic or an expert. All you need is to be interested and the Society offers you the opportunity to go to Bronte or other literature related places (not just day excursions, but holidays to Ireland, or Brussels, for example), talk about Bronte books / lives, or just plain meet people and chat. Yes, there are academics. Yes, the Society holds academic conferences. But those aren't the most important things; it's not primarily about that.
This is why it saddens me that, after my 13years of AGM events, I am still one of the youngest people there. It didn't surprise me when I was 15, 18, or even 20. But in my late 20s, it worries me. It doesn't matter, to an extent. I don't primarily notice the age of my friends there. But if new, younger members don't join, the Society will eventually be in trouble. And this is more serious than it may sound: The Bronte Society owns the Bronte Parsonage Museum, and if membership shrinks too drastically, we will have to pass it on to a different organisation, and I don't know about you, but I think that would be very sad indeed.
To the left, you'll see a link to the Bronte Parsonage Blog. It has some posts from a variety of members about the recent AGM events. It even has some photographs. If it looks like something you'd enjoy, the Bronte Parsonage Museum website has information on what we do and how to join. Check it out! Indulge your interest...
I took the holiday I always take at this time of year to indulge what someone in my academic field once described as my 'errant interest in the Brontes'. I went to Haworth for the Bronte Society AGM events. Now, I've been going to these since I was 15, and I always go alone. But I'm never alone for long. The Bronte Society has given me friends - good friends - all over the world, and every year brings new people from new places, all walks of life, and new friendships. We aren't all academics; this year I met a dancer/choreographer and a writer from the States, and old friends include a nurse, an academic, a musician and a joiner. And it's easy to make friends; you see, we always have something to talk about (this year conversation ranged from Bronte biography, through modern poetry, to our favourite TV shows / actors, to Internet dating) - we have a common interest to start things off. You don't have to know all there is to know about the Bronte family and their literature; you don't have to be an academic or an expert. All you need is to be interested and the Society offers you the opportunity to go to Bronte or other literature related places (not just day excursions, but holidays to Ireland, or Brussels, for example), talk about Bronte books / lives, or just plain meet people and chat. Yes, there are academics. Yes, the Society holds academic conferences. But those aren't the most important things; it's not primarily about that.
This is why it saddens me that, after my 13years of AGM events, I am still one of the youngest people there. It didn't surprise me when I was 15, 18, or even 20. But in my late 20s, it worries me. It doesn't matter, to an extent. I don't primarily notice the age of my friends there. But if new, younger members don't join, the Society will eventually be in trouble. And this is more serious than it may sound: The Bronte Society owns the Bronte Parsonage Museum, and if membership shrinks too drastically, we will have to pass it on to a different organisation, and I don't know about you, but I think that would be very sad indeed.
To the left, you'll see a link to the Bronte Parsonage Blog. It has some posts from a variety of members about the recent AGM events. It even has some photographs. If it looks like something you'd enjoy, the Bronte Parsonage Museum website has information on what we do and how to join. Check it out! Indulge your interest...
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